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Joke of the Day

"My cat cares about me. LOLZ that's the joke."

"Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!"

"Heart attack When is the worst possible time to have a heart attack? When you are playing Charades."

"He told me he was uncomfortable dating someone with so much inflatable furniture."

"2 halloweens ago I was brutally owned by a small child when I answered my door in normal clothes and she said ""nice lumberjack costume."""

"Of all my mistakes, you were the mistakiest"

"Does heavy lifting make you dumb? Yes Cause counting to 10 has never been this hard before"

"What has 50 legs but cant walk ? Half a centipede !"

"""My fellow Americans-"" Barack ""we are working tirelessly-"" Sir ""to make sure-"" Barack. You're still wearing ur xbox headset"

"Why Colonel had a bunch of underwears ? Because, Brigadier General asked him to debrief his team."