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Joke of the Day
"Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he got his gas bill."
Next Joke
"Turns out those miniature liquor bottles aren't for babies and now my brother says I can't be the God Mother."
"ME: seen the loch ness monster? HER: it's not real M: *unzips pants* wanna bet? H: *rolls eyes* sure M: k i'll pee and then we'll google it"
"I'm developing a new sport that involves a ball, shotput, discus, and javelins. I'm calling it a game of throwns."
"A ship carrying blue paint has collided with a ship carrying red paint in the English Channel. 32 sailors have been marooned"
"What's the difference between a hand towel and toilet paper? ""What?"" ""You aren't coming to my house"""
"What's The Best Part Of Getting/Receiving A Blowjob? Her shutting up for once."
"According to these Father's Day gift sections, all dads are clean shaven business men that love playing golf and think they're #1."
"My friend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more"
"To all those people who said I would be an unfit parent, have you seen the little guy lately? Cause that would be a big help, I seem to have misplaced him."