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Joke of the Day
"Does heavy lifting make you dumb? Yes Cause counting to 10 has never been this hard before"
Next Joke
"I got this ""breathe"" tattoo on my wrist because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder."
"Some people have difficulties sleeping... but I can do it with my eyes closed."
"If Coca-Cola really cared about the obesity problem they'd put cocaine back in."
"Jesus walks into a hotel Lays a handful of nails on the counter and asks the attenant ""Can you put me up for the night?"""
"Don't you hate double standards? If a girl sleeps with a lot of guys she is called a slut, but when a guy does it he is called a homosexual."
"it is so good that there are millions of movie & famous people quotes you can use instead of having to think of something interesting to say"
"""Doctor, how's the patient?"" Doctor: He's critical. Patient: Dear prospective viewers, remaking 'Point Break' was a bad mistake. Utterly pointless."
"[Xmas morning] wife: Honey, is this a dolphin? We agreed no dolphins. ""dolphin-shaped gift flopping wildly under tree* me: JUST OPEN IT"
"I've found the perfect weight-loss system for Americans. Convert to the metric system and lose half your weight in just seconds."