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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone says to me ""Please make yourself at home"" I remove all my clothes and start masturbating"

"Whenever I have a one night stand I always use protection A fake name and fake phone number."

"Girls are a lot like universities... I spend hours looking at them, only to realise I can't get into any of them."

"Space-X just used a multi-stage propellent catapult to send a small group of cattle into low-earth orbit. Its the first heard shot 'round the world."

"What does a nosey pepper do? Get's jalapeno business!"

"I just saw a Nazi drive past me at 88 mph Probably going Back to the Fuhrer"

"Paid love costs less."

"Yo momma so fat, when she wants to take a bath... She fills up the tub and THEN turns on the water."

"What do you call an std that only reptiles can get? Gatoraids."

"Potatoes are high in carbs. 'Baked' potatoes are just high."