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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone says to me ""Please make yourself at home"" I remove all my clothes and start masturbating"

"What Hillary's word for a bribe? Pay her and she'll speak to you about it."

"Why did the boy die when a car ran over his finger? His finger was up his nose."

"Seven days without a joke makes one weak."

"What do Islamist extremists eat for breakfast? French toast"

"A Freudian slip is when you say one thing But you mean your mother.......I mean another"

"I miss you like an idiot misses the point."

"[mom unloads groceries] if there's one thing i love, besides my wild little rascals, it's subscribing to twenty different online tv services"

"Did you hear about the pedophile musician? He was caught fingering A-minor."

"Why doesn't mexico have an olympic team? ...because everyone who can run, jump or swim has already crossed the border"