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Joke of the Day

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles. I'll see myself out."

"I am being so rude. Apologies. Google, is there anything you want to ask me?"

"Me and my Girlfriend just broke up We had different views on history, I wanted to Hitler and she was just Stalin."

"I don't want you to feel like you can't express yourself, but I do want you to stop talking."

"I'm sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon."

"What do you call a fast clothes maker? Taylor Swift! Made up by my nine year old :)"

"I wouldn't say I hate my dad... But I can't deny he's a real motherfucker."

"Everything Must Go? You should have had that attitude before going out of business."

"Apparently you can't just drop your ex off at the morgue just cause they are dead to you."

"Can anyone answer why they've kept the name Lynchburg? Come on, don't leave me hanging."