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Joke of the Day

"What do you call? What do you call 'nuts on a chest'? chestnuts. What do you call 'nuts on a wall'? walnuts. What do you call 'nuts on a chin'? .... A dick in your mouth."

"""Ugh, it's so dark!"" *shivers* ""And cold! Why is it so huge? It's, like, jeez, does it go on forever?!"" - Larry, the worst astronaut"

"I used to be really into nostalgia... ...those were good times."

"Garbage men have Hefty contracts."

"Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you."

"So an iPhone 7 gets arrested... He puts on his earpods and smugly declares ""sorry, you can't charge me while I'm using my headphones""."

"Never have I ever... rushed out of my house pretending I had to be somewhere & drove around neighborhood to get somebody to leave."

"My friend lives in Colorado and wanted to start growing weed on his cow farm. I told him it wasn't a good idea. The steaks would be too high."

"1 fist bump from a cool black dude = 5 years of my white parents loving me."

"I asked my soap who it voted for, it said... I'd lather not say! note: This one came to me in the shower just now, gotta go back in now. Oh, the irony! I think. ~Skip"