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Joke of the Day

"How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One hooker at a minimum. However the light bulb must be big enough for two people to fit inside"

"The French cow says MEUX..."

"Even on my death bed my wife will be telling me how she had a worse day than me."

"Did you hear about the deaf guy who could sing? Ya, well he didn't"

"You hang up ""No, you hang up"" You hang up first! - Bats going to bed"

"What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted? Hey we have a toot in common."

"A father and son were watching a movie together The son says ""Daddy I'm scared. Is that woman going to die?"" And the father replied with ""Well, I don't know son. That is a pretty big horse cock."""

"I met a woman at happy hour... She had a tattoo on her bikini line. It was a picture of a conch shell. She said ""If you put your ear to it, you can smell the ocean""."

"All these people training for marathons and I'm over here, on my couch, trying to lasso the remote with my phone charger."

"Quit college. Become an oven. Get up to like 500 degrees."