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Joke of the Day

"You hang up ""No, you hang up"" You hang up first! - Bats going to bed"

"I saw a how-to page on record scratch and DJ techniques. It was a wikki-wikki Wiki."

"If Facebook changed ""poke"" to ""stab"" I would use it all the time."

"My wife said I was bad in bed so I banged her on the coffee table. Location. Location. Location."

"Why was the bird sick? It had the flew and its throat was soar."

"Ask me what the secret to comedy is? You: What is the secret... Timing"

"a dog pisses on an ant... and the ant says ""hey watch it!"" and the dog says ""i don't have a watch"""

"I wanted to put an England flag in my garden... I wanted to put an England flag in my garden but wasn't sure if it would offend muslim extremists. So I wrote 'Allah is a twat' on it just to make sure."

"Rihanna. Sorry, I put the punch line in the tittle."

"No wonder hell finally froze over for the Cubs... ...because the devil left to be President"