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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between virgin olive oil and extra virgin olive oil? *thick Italian accent* ""She don't even touch it."""

"A one-liner based on what happened to me at work. An insect landed in my beverage, now I'm feeling a bit fly-tea."

"French Blacksmith How does a French blacksmith sharpen his blade? He hon(hon hon)s it."

"I tried to take up juggling... But I just didn't have the balls... I'm not even sorry"

"A cop just knocked on my door and said that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even own bikes..."

"All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don't even remember what he did anymore."

"What do you can a pessimistic antelope? A cantaloupe"

"Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him..."

"What do you call it when an escort farts? A prosti-toot"

"Hey Hollywood, time to start using a new fake phone number. This 555 bullshit takes me out of the moment every time."