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Joke of the Day
"Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him..."
Next Joke
"Why did the can crusher quit his job? It was soda pressing..."
"My girlfriend started pms-ing today. I thinks it's just a big ovary action."
"My humor is so black... ...That all my jokes are stolen"
"What comes after 69? Student: mouthwash teacher: get out"
"Wife*outside bathroom door*:""I can hear ur keyboard clicking away. U tweeting in there?"" Me*pauses knitting*:""Uh, Ya"""
"I hate when my cat brings in a dead bird and I have to pretend I enjoy eating it so I don't hurt his feelings"
"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? Donald Trump has never had a garbanzo bean on him."
"In history we were asked to give our opinion on the representation of slaves in the United States in the 18th and 19th centuries... I gave it a 3 out of 5"
"Congrats to everyone who just got cast in the new Star Wars movie. The film industry is telling you they think you look like an alien."