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Joke of the Day

"When people say ""You can fit a million earths in the sun!!!"" I'm like: Hey. Maybe we shouldnt put any earths in the sun. The sun is hot."

"Walk like an Egyptian is a song, but also a sure fire way to make it safely through a bad neighborhood."

"Are these potato chips so much healthier b/c they're Baked? My brother is baked all the time, and he's got diabetes."

"whats the Mexican version of whack a mole? gua-ca-mole"

"Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles."

"HIPPO: I'm really heavy ZIPPO: I'm a little lighter"

"A friend of mine was run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry. When the policeman informed his family he said ""There's no easy way to say this""..."

"What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven."

"Say ""No, TWO drugs."""

"Carmella and Mario were out on their first date. ""Have you ever read Shakespeare?"" asked Carmella. ""No"" said Mario. ""Who wrote it?"""