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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone says ""I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart"", all I hear is ""I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart""."

"What do you get when you watch 'Cinderella' backwards? A woman in her place..."

"what idiot called it a fly swatter and not a splatula?"

"Me: ugh. The radio these days is full of bad news. Burglary over there, stabbing over here. Just turn it off please Arresting officer: no"

"What did the cake say to the knife? You want a piece of me?!?"

"A guy walks into a psychiatrist wearing saran wrap pants He says ""Doctor, I think I'm crazy"" The doctor says, ""Well I can clearly see your nuts"""

"My pet butterfly got a tattoo of my lower back"

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair gets in the way."

"RIP Boiled Water You will be mist."

"Impressing the McDonald's drive thru people with my music is always a top priority"