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Joke of the Day

"RIP Boiled Water You will be mist."

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"Ebola gives new meaning to the phrase 'Eat Shit and Die.' Credit to my brother for coming up with that one!"
"Women can be so ungrateful. I just made breakfast in bed & instead of thanking me, she screams ""Who are you! How did you get in my house?"""
"Why do lesbians shop at sport authority? Because they don't like Dick's"
"What is the capital of the United States? Half of what it was last week"
"Why is it always so sunny in Firefly and Serenity? Because they only have one season."
"Why do the French like Cheap Trick? Because they always surrender!"
"Someone told me they were getting colored contacts, and I said ""aren't all their eyes just brown?"" that was a complete misunderstanding."
"Why did the New Yorker sleep under an oil tank? He wanted to wake up oily."
"So... what do you call a sexual tree? A pork-u-pine My brain is dumb"