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Joke of the Day

"what idiot called it a fly swatter and not a splatula?"

"Okay, vampires are invisible in mirrors, I totally get that. But, come on, their clothes?!? #science"

"Hi, I'm black and I really can't stand it when my white friend doesn't answer my calls. They say old habits die hard, but some habits never die.. Like the white men leaving us hanging"

"How many Dragon Ball Z episodes does it take to change a lightbulb? ***Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z***"

"I know what your girl wants for her birthday. Deez nuts. Ha! Got em!"

"It was that time of the month. I said to the wife, 'you know, your mouth isn't bleeding...' She replied, 'yours will be if you keep up with that shit'"

"I can't pull rabbits out of a hat... But I can pull hares out of my ass!"

"Did you know tank tops were illegal until the U.S constitution came out? It gave people the right to bare arms."

"What's the difference between a fridge and a woman? A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out"

"What did the blond do with her asshole in the morning? Pack him a lunch and tell him to go to work!"