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Joke of the Day

"Just sent my boss an email that said ""Keep me coming"" instead of ""Keep 'em coming."" So, that's fun."

"What's the worst part about going down on a vegan? They taste like chicken."

"If you post a selfie that says ""because some of you asked for a new one"" I want to see screenshots of where they said that."

"It's been clinically proven that the most effective form of birth control I can use is: ""Just be myself."""

"Whenever two people argue over something, yell out ""OBJECTION"" and then contradict the one wearing something you don't like."

"16 sodium atoms walk into a bar... Followed by BATMAN!"

"When someone looks at your baby pictures and jokingly says ""Aww you were so cute! What happened?"" Bitch, I got sexy, that's what happened."

"I like my women how I like my rum. Dark and full of coke."

"I fear for the calendar... ...its days are numbered."

"What happened when the cannibal crossed the Atlantic on the QE2? He told the waiter to take the menu away and bring him the passenger list!"