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Joke of the Day
"I fear for the calendar... ...its days are numbered."
Next Joke
"just when you think life is going okay, you get the new guy at Subway"
"I have a great ebola joke! You probably won't get it"
"Trump says the biggest threat to the world is a ""manic, mad man"" having control of nuclear weapons"
"Why can't motorcycles go faster? They're two tired."
"Since my girlfriend discovered out the eyeroll and tongue sticking emojis she doesn't have to type words anymore."
"it's just so crazy to think that kids born in 14 will be turning 2000 this year"
"Here's my gym schedule. Monday, cardio. Tuesday, weights. Wednesday, 7 mile bike ride. Thursday, 15 year break. Repeat."
"What's the dumbest animal in the jungle? The polar bear."
"Which antivirus program does a pirate use? [Avast](http://www.avast.com/), ye mateys!"