109610
Joke of the Day
"What happens when Lucy starts using 100% of her brain? She's almost as smart as a man."
Next Joke
"""Well boy,"" I yell to my dog, seated in the basket of my pushbike as we plummet to the rocks below, ""naming you E.T. clearly wasn't enough."""
"[Meeting] CEO: as u can see [points to graph w laser] we- BUSINESS CAT:[comes flying across table & just crashes right into a photocopier]"
"In an effort to be sexier for my wife, I figured I'd pluck 60% of my chest hair... 3 of the 5."
"One Last Humiliation: The CIA Just Bungled An Attempt To Drop A Piano On Fidel Castro's Funeral Procession Luckily, It only cost them a grand."
"Why was Aladdin disqualified from the Rio Olympics? He was on performance-enhancing rugs."
"Allow me to sum up the 90's for you. 90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99=945"
"I realized why the media isn't taking my presidential campaign seriously. Occasionally, I'll slip up and accidentally tell the truth."
"What is a wock? Something you throw a wabbits."
"[Scene: Cloud City. Two men fight each other with lightsabers] Mario: You-a kill my father! Wario: No. I am-a your father. Mario: Mama-mia!"