179907

Joke of the Day

"If this Hillary case blows up... It will be the second time a weiner has ruined the presidency for a Clinton"

"Bungalows Why do old people prefer to live in one story houses? There close to the ground."

"I entered the word bit*h into my GPS and guess what, I'm in your driveway!!"

"People are like lottery tickets. You can point to a random one, say it's a loser, and you'll be right most of the time."

"This morning I read about that 14 year boy with a clock they thought was a bomb ...I just checked again and it's really blown up since then"

"Have you heard about Trumps plan for Mexicans [Removed]"

"My friend told me my mustache makes me looks like Jeffery Dahmer. I said, ""Thanks. I've always wanted a killer stache."""

"One. How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb?"

"you're honor, my client- hold on.. *long recess w/ client* ok my really high client wants to know if he can eat his Cheetos during the trial"

"I may eat animals, but at least I wait until they're DEAD. Plants are ALIVE, vegans. You disgust me."