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Joke of the Day
"[Dark humor] What do you call a not-hungry ethiopian? Dead."
Next Joke
"Marriage is like a deck of cards... In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade."
"Why don't blind people like skydiving? Scares their dogs."
"Why did the Papal Palace fill up with kittens? Because the Pope was a cat-holic. Eh? Eh?"
"ALIEN: You Earthlings have many technological advances. How do you predict the weather? ME: We pull a rodent out of a box."
"Why did the angry ant fall off the toilet seat? Because it was pissed off."
"Yeah, I'm basically a Pokemaster. *waves vaguely at shelves of confused squirrels in partially sealed Tupperware containers*"
"My burrito brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, ""Careful, everything is falling out from the other side."""
"A dyslexic poet that has a fetish for rim licks."
"What is Michael Bay's favorite move in chess? C4"