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Joke of the Day

"My great-grandmother lived to be 106 and never needed glasses. She always just drank straight from the bottle."

"How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? [Answer here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2q2uaq/how_many_karma_whores_does_it_take_to_change_a/)"

"What do you call an aging actor who has finally paid off his house? Mortgage freeman."

"Politics isn't confusing. You have a choice of being screwed by one of two gorillas and one is considerate enough to use lube. Now choose."

"A man walks into a sperm bank, The lady at the desk says, ""Get a load of this guy."""

"Paper towel ads always show kids making huge messes then mom smiles & cleans it up. My mom would've handed me a mop then beat me with a belt"

"Did you hear about the broken watch from the 1800's? It was a timeless classic."

"My friend had his assignment on plagiarism stolen so he copied mine. He then proceeded to take a course on Nihilism but it ended up not having a meaningful impact on his transcript."

"What's an 80 year old pussy smell like? Depends!"

"How many country stars does it take to change a light bulb? Six-1 to change the bulb and 5 to sing about how much they miss the old one."