198210

Joke of the Day

"I stopped going to the beach because people kept mistaking me for a corpse and poking me with sticks"

"One of My Ex's was absolutely beautiful. But, it didn't workout because all she wanted to do was SWING. I miss third grade."

"What are swearing outdoor grills powered with? Profane tanks."

"Did you guys see that episode of Finding Bigfoot last night? [SPOILERS] They didn't find Bigfoot."

"Waitress: Can I take this out of the way for you? Me: [glances at wife] uh...sure Wife: SHE MEANS THE PLATE, IDIOT"

"Why doesn't the Jolly Green Giant patronize prostitutes? He has no room in his life for a fourth ho."

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the Moon? The food's ok, but it has no atmosphere."

"How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice."

"How do you drown a hipster? Drag him into the mainstream."

"In Photoshop, is there any way to make it look like I'm not dead inside?"