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Joke of the Day

"A boomerang walks into a bar. Gets thrown out but he came back in again."

"If you put healing crystals in a sock and beat someone with it do they cancel each other out?"

"[Police sketch artist job interview] ""How am I not qualified?"" Your resume is a stick figure and a poorly drawn igloo ""It's a cat actually"""

"What's a philosophers favorite toy? Plato"

"I can't do this. I think I'm dying. Why does your face look like a donut? ~ me 30 minutes into dieting"

"What's the difference between your mom and my computer? I can still turn your mom on."

"Drug commercial just listed ""death"" as a possible side affect. Seems totally legit. Ask your doctor if possible death is right for you.."

"I come from a small town. I come from a town where the population never changes. Everytime a kid is born, some guy leaves town. Old Rodney Dangerfield..."

"What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly? Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows."

"So I found out Viagra's pharmaceutical name. Mycoxafloppin"