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Joke of the Day

"All the toilets in the city have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on."

"Why Don't feminists make good botanists? They spend the entire time in the greenhouses bitching about the glass ceiling."

"I recently switched over to cinnamon flavored toothpaste so when I do brush my teeth, I can't tell how much my gums are bleeding."

"I wanted to turn my life around so I tried to stop memeing all the time... ...It made my life memeingless"

"I'm getting mixed signals from this girl first she is like ""sorry I'm married"" then it's ""leave me alone I'm married"" I mean which is it"

"Nicholas Cage was only good in FaceOff because he was played by John Travolta."

"I'm totally hooked on masturbation! It's a dick thing.."

"What do you call a turtle without its shell? Dead."

"GOOD COP: tell us where ur boss is hiding and we'll let u go BIKE COP: [clenches fist] we woulda caught him if he hadnt climbed those stairs"

"Did you hear about the sheep who's young son carried him off the farm? He was on the lamb."