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Joke of the Day

"What is a mortician's favorite side dish? Gravy"

"I just watched the girl next to me google ""lack toast and tolerant symptoms"" Symptoms: you have no toast but it's totally tolerable."

"Crime would drop to 0% if police uniforms were scary clown costumes. ""Put your hands up and state your favorite balloon animal!"""

"""I made six figures last year."" - Extremely lazy G.I. Joe employee."

"How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket? One. After that the basket won't be empty."

"Every time I forget to feed my cat, I thank god that I wasn't a teen mom. Because that child would not be OK today."

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Surely not sir. It must be one of those vitamin bees you hear so much about."

"If someone calls you fat... Just turn the other chin."

"The Brexit situation Britain: Down with the EU! *Next Day* Britain: I meant I'm down with the EU."

"Why wont Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it? Because it's too cubed!"