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Joke of the Day
"I read a study about how sleep deprivation causes false memories ...I think"
Next Joke
"7 is asleep, 8 is on his iPad, and 12 is all like ""hey dad, why don't you remember our names"""
"What is a jewish man's biggest dilemma? Free bacon"
"My new hobby is sitting outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say ""You can see me?"""
"Help I'm addicted to skin I can't stop wearing it!"
"I don't understand why banks keep their pens chained to the counter If I trust you with my money, then you should trust me with your pen!"
"Why couldn't the bike stand by itself? because it was two tired"
"The problem with today's children is that today's parents are idiots."
"Me: How dilated is she? Nurse: 4 centimeters. Me: This is America. Nurse: 0.000198838 furlongs."
"Ancestry.com will not get a cent of my money until they can tell me which apes I came from."