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Joke of the Day

"My new hobby is sitting outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say ""You can see me?"""

Next Joke
 
"[Calls boss] I'm gonna be late... ""How late?"" *Cut to me trapped inside a tiny house made from Lego* I've no idea to be honest with you..."
"Why are most Muslims broke all the time? They never understood the concept of piggy banks."
"My clients have a 86% survival rate, which makes me an above-average babysitter."
"*takes bite of food and immediately spits it out in disgust* What the?! Oh, I accidentally bought Hamburger Hinderer"
"Explain joke What do they say about the noise at the Burger Land Super Bowl? It's PAN-demonium!"
"If my children are any indication of how much I talk, I would now like to apologize to any man I've ever dated...EVER"
"What's the difference between inlaws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted."
"Was on a date with this girl and she asked me if I would tell her my Reddit username, so I did. My face still hurts."
"Why are elevator jokes so funny? Because they work on so many levels"