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Joke of the Day

"What do disabled people get when there's a fire in the building? Left behind"

"Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past? It had a SPOILER on it."

"My wife and I were having a bad fight when I looked down on the counter and saw a coffee mug that read 'domestic violence ends with me'... So I hit her with that."

"Two fish were sitting in a tank... One turns to the other and says ""Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"What is the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? I wouldn't pay $10 to watch a garbanzo bean."

"Why is it so hard to find Thor's brother? Because he stays low key"

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later."

"How do you know your sister's on her period? Your father's cock tastes like blood."

"What do you call a smug prisoner walking down stairs? A condescending con descending"

"I once accidentally started a flash mob when I thought a spider might be on me."