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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a smug prisoner walking down stairs? A condescending con descending"
Next Joke
"Why was everyone laughing at the sculptor? He was making a funny face"
"NICK CANNON: hello and welcome to america's got talent HAWK: [hiding his talons behind his back] i misunderstood the title of this show"
"A closed mouth gathers no fries."
"What happens when you plant a sesame seed? Does a sesame grow? What is a sesame? Where my botanists at? Where the hell am I?"
"Despite it being close to Christmas, I'm still on my Summer diet... ...I'll have summer that, summer that, and summer that."
"There's a spider in my bathroom. I neither can kill it or capture it, so now it has its very own room in my house to raise its spider family"
"[deathbed] ME: Give me that sword & I'll haunt it when I die SON: I made this [hands me cake] ME: No! [dies] CAKE: [in my voice] God damn it"
"There are 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary, and those who don't."
"How do you feed a skyscraper? ""Here comes the aeroplane!"""