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Joke of the Day

"Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past? It had a SPOILER on it."

"When life hands you melons... you're dyslexic."

"My 5y/o just threw a 15 min fit because she doesn't want me to get old. I had to tell her if she took a bath it would help me stay young"

"Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic."

"Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday? Causal fridays."

"Alcohol is the worst thing in the world... My friend had a lot last night and ended up saying ""I love you"" to his Own Wife !!!"

"""Surely I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."" I wonder why rich men didn't just chop up the camel first..."

"My ex was like a computer game. Started off easy, got a little harder and eventually I ended up cheating."

"Coming this Christmas, an ageing misogynist and his quest to correct all women in his path. Hugh Grant stars in ""Actually, Love""."

"What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."