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Joke of the Day
"Maybe the ocean is so salty because the land doesn't wave back"
Next Joke
"My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess... So I hired paparazzi to follow her and she died in a car accident."
"Whenever I get a stack of job applications, I throw half of them in the garbage I don't want unlucky people working for me"
"It'd be cool if a firetruck was like an ice cream truck and just drove around selling fire to kids."
"With me, it's not PRIDE that comes before a fall. It's half a bottle of vodka and a coffee table that I forgot existed."
"Son, I've made some questionable decisions in life & I must go away for awhile to face the consequences. How I tell my 5yo I'm off to poop"
"Put a load in the dishwasher last night She was mad I didn't pull out."
"What do you get when you cross a sled dog with an elephant? A tusky!"
"If I do get murdered in this motel, will someone please deduct a star from my review over on Yelp? Thanks."
"Have you seen the new iPhone card trick? It's the one where all the jacks dissappear"