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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I get a stack of job applications, I throw half of them in the garbage I don't want unlucky people working for me"

"My doctor said he needed a stool sample from me. The timing was perfect. I was about to go to Ikea anyway"

"Why did ranch break up with chicken wings? Because he blue cheese..."

"The search for Flight 370 was declared ""The most difficult in human history."" Amelia Earhart could not be reached for comment..."

"A snare drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ba dum PSH!"

"If a group of ducks were controlling the ""autocorrect"" feature that would be ducking insane"

"What is the difference between a divorce and a hurricane in the south? Nothing, someone is losing a trailer!"

"Vanilla Ice is selling more records lately Guess his fans are seminemtal"

"This is the pig I've been fucking said the husband. The wife looks at the animal in the husband's arms and says that's a duck I was talking to the duck the husband said."

"99 little bugs in the code... 99 bugs in the code. Fix one bug, compile it down. 167 little bugs in the code....sigh."