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Joke of the Day

"At least a zombie would love me for my brain."

"Why do astronauts bring their phone into space? Because they can get 4g"

"Gluten-free, low salt, no sugar all-natural whole grain bread? The only thing ""natural"" about this product is the urge to get away from it."

"What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?"

"Showers: never want to get in, then never wanting to get out."

"I stole a seat from an old man and he remarked, ""Chivalry is Dead"". I said, ""I'm sorry, I didn't know. He wasn't even trending on Twitter""."

"Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear? Because he liked sole music!"

"How many teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 19 . Got a problem with that?"

"I can't image what I'd do if I had cholera But I'd probably shit my self!"

"Boy: What's black slimy with hairy legs and eyes on stalks? Mom: Eat the cookies and don't worry about what's in the tin."