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Joke of the Day

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't at least 30 percent off"

"What do you call couples that practice pulling out as a method of contraception? Parents."

"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Staple a piece of toast to the ceiling."

"Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. In the end you wish you had a club and a spade."

"Sorry I dressed up like Captain Caveman when you asked me if I wanted to go clubbing."

"As a professional musician I can trick any girls heart I play the organ."

"I would be completely shocked if I ever won the lottery. Mainly because I don't play the lottery."

"Ebay is way to hard to use I searched for lighters, and all I got was 71,274 matches."

"INTERVIEWER: You put ""summoning demons"" as a special skill? ME: That's right. INTERVIEWER: *sweating profusely* When can you start?"

"What did the dog say to the old tree? #Bark"