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Joke of the Day

"Guess when toothpaste was invented? 1892. Guess when kissing was invented? A DISGUSTINGLY LONG TIME BEFORE THAT."

"New phone My sister got an Iphone 5c. I asked if I could C it she said ""No"" so I said SIRI ously"

"Why can Kylie Jenner see right through Caitlin? She's trans-parent."

"Someone asked me to stop singing wonderwall I said maybe"

"Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside."

"GIRL: would you like to go out for dinner sometime? ME:*nervously looks around* MY MUM: *appearing from nearby bush* he only eats lunchables"

"I need to get one of those gadgets for my camera so I can take pictures of myself. I think it's called a narciss-stick."

"I just found out I stayed in the same hotel room as royalty. The dope left his bible behind"

"[rap battle] [my opponent attempts to drop the mic, but I stealthily tied it to his finger so it just comes back up like a yo-yo]"

"Stress? Don't talk to me about stress. Some of my favorite TV characters are currently in truly sticky situations"