196526

Joke of the Day

"I just found out I stayed in the same hotel room as royalty. The dope left his bible behind"

"It's a pleasure to do business with you. I look forward to screaming at your customer service representatives in six months."

"Plan to be spontaneous... Tomorrow."

"What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon? They go on peck-nics !"

"I'm always surprised how quickly ""you're so funny"" turns into ""everything is a fcuking joke to you."" (usually about 3 months)"

"Why can't you trust 8? cause she's a two-timin' four."

"I asked my adopted son the name of the workshop the DCF found him in. Build a bear"

"Wanna hear a joke about an unsharpened pencil? Nevermind, there's no point"

"When I sing with my headphones in I think, ""Why don't I have a record deal?!""...Then I take them out and I know why."

"A lame joke I thought of at work yesterday ""A tie for a tie leaves the whole world looking great"""