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Joke of the Day

"If my partner didn't want me to wear yoga pants because they make me too attractive to other men, I'd respect his wishes and take them off."

"I traced the call. It was phone-shaped."

"There was a man watering his garden across the street at night. At first I thought he was pissing outside but after a realized he wasnt I said ""I thought you were peeing"" he said ""no I'm Chinese"""

"What do you call two homeless people hitting each other with pieces of cardboard? A pillow fight"

"Darling, what are you thinking about right now? If I would want you to know, I would say it not think about it."

"Why did the dumb girl have a painfull bellybutton? Her boyfriend isn't the smartest one either."

"So the Mayor of London Boris Johnson has knocked a 10 year old boy to the ground... Then again... wouldn't be the first time a British MPs tackle has hurt an under aged child would it?"

"Guys I need your opinion on this joke! David Cameron"

"Have you seen the current remake of the movie ""Cape Fear""? It's about a deranged psychotic who is seeking revenge against a lawyer. The question is while watching the movie whom do you root for?"

"Once I made the mistake of telling Jesus to take the wheel on a Sunday. Once."