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Joke of the Day

"What if Stephen Hawking was the real slim shady... But we didn't know because he couldn't stand up?"

"I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit but it wouldn't matter."

"Whenever a woman says ""how are you different from other men?"" I normally respond with ""I'm fucking hilarious."" @MaleHonesty86"

"Just saw a large group of 20 yr olds saying a blessing before eating. Then I realized they were all just looking at their phones."

"Why do bicycles fall over? Because they are two tired."

"What do you call citizens of Florida who eat at Chick-Fil-A? Gay-ters"

"Peel n eat shrimp feels remarkably similar to tear the tail off 'n eat the water cockroach."

"Find everything OK, sir? Everything except happiness! You won't find that at Wal-Mart! We laughed & laughed until my credit card declined"

"Kinda creepy that Noah could tell the difference between the male and female versions of EVERYTHING"

"I always heard it was OK to date a nun... as long as you don't get into the habit."