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Joke of the Day

"What's 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage."

"Man walks in on his son A man walks in on his son masturbating, and gets really mad ""Hey, save that for when you are older!"" By the time the kid was 18, he had three jars full."

"Updog (terrible joke I posted in dadjokes) Dad: (sniffs) it smells like updog in here. Son: What's up dog? Dad: Just chilling homie, what's up with you!?"

"A kiss so passionate you have first degree burns from the melted cheese on the pizza."

"What sort of violin does a ghost play? A dreadivarius."

"Why are men better cooks? They only need 2 eggs n 1 sausage to keep a girl full for 9 months"

"This bloke at uni today told me he had 90 degrees... I said 90 degrees how is that even possible? He said you just need to look at uni from the right angle"

"what if everyone's dick had its own little dick well see ya later"

"What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match."

"In a Mexican restaurant, Are the restrooms called ""Juans""?"