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Joke of the Day

"Mexican drug lords now have ig and keep posting selfies with stacks of money, mansions and yachts. I think the army... could really learn something from that recruitment campaign."

"me: good morning, Linda Linda, my co-worker who backpacked through Europe: Not as nice as the sunrises you can see looking out from Venice"

"What did the saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? ""Man, if we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts."""

"Girlfriend: hey babe you wanna get breakfast and go for a run? (Cut to me with a mouth full of Doritos) Me: I have shin splints"

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great service but no atmosphere."

"Why couldn't the Mexican go hunting? Because he didn't habanero!"

"How is Batman different from a black man? Batman can go in a store without Robin."

"What do you call a cow that can't produce milk? Utterly useless"

"My brother is so poor... ...He had to jerk off the dog to feed the cat."

"What do you call a man with a one inch penis? Justin."