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Joke of the Day

"Mulder: we're trapped with ghosts in the stomach of a metal worm. Scully: those are just people, Mulder. We're on a train."

"The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer"

"A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. ""First offender?"" The judge asked. ""No"" said the bailiff, ""First a Gibson, then a Fender."""

"Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because D shells are too big and B shells are too small."

"How many French eggs do you need? One egg is un oeuf."

"What do you do when a scientist dies? You barium! ba-dum-tss"

"If I say ""last Star Wars"" and u say ""Actually you mean 3rd Star Wars! It's a prequel!"" I'm going to hit u with a fish tank."

"Just stopped by my old high school and updated my phone number on all the bathroom stalls."

"what are you listening to right know ? candy shop."

"Whats the difference between a boy scout and jewish child? The boy scout comes home from camp."