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Joke of the Day
"What's a theif's favorite dance move? Poppin' locks"
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the all-leper boxing world championship final I hear it was a real face off in the second round"
"Fact: If you sneak away to fart loudly in private and get caught by some innocent person walking by, you have to now hate that person."
"To avoid identity theft when I die I want to be shredded."
"Men and women CAN be just friends. But only if one of them is ugly."
"[praying in church] Please God let church end early"
"[Walking into the gym Jan 1st] Trainer: Hello! This is a great life change you're making. Me: [confused] This used to be an Olive Garden.."
"What's Tom Brady's favorite sport? Softball."
"Hey Ben Carson, at this point in your craziness? Just say you're Iron Man. What could it hurt?"
"WIFE: [walks in on me trying on Victoria's Secret] OMG ME: It's not what you think! [shows receipt] They were on sale WIFE: Oh thank God"