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Joke of the Day
"Children's laughter can be a wonderful thing Unless its 2AM and you don't have any kids."
Next Joke
"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Allergies."
"What do you call a group of scientologist almonds? Nuts."
"What do you call a chameleon that doesn't change color? A reptile dysfunction."
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
"[mall] Wife: Wait here. Me: Okay. Wife: Hold my purse. Me: Yes, ma'am. *looks in purse* *waves at testicles* Me: *sigh* I miss you guys!"
"Why should you always knock before opening the refrigerator? Because there might be an Italian dressing."
"What will Gene Wilder's last will and testament will say? YOU GET NOTHING! Yeah I'm going to hell."
"I woke up at 3 am this morning to the sound of my burglar alarm ""Time to go out and rob some people!"" I said"
"Robin Thicke is what would happen if a roofie became a human and decided to make music."