10801

Joke of the Day

"Children's laughter can be a wonderful thing Unless its 2AM and you don't have any kids."

"A man caught me applying chap stick, so I just started eating it so it wouldn't be weird."

"What's the best way for an American to lose weight? Gamble in British currency."

"I just got a new hearse Everyone is dying to take a ride in it"

"Sorry I pissed you off, but I find you much more entertaining this way."

"I always wanted a trophy wife, But instead I got a participation medal girlfriend."

"Operator: ""9-1-1 please hold..."" Me: ""Ok. Hey, stop stabbing me for a second."" Murderer: ""K."""

"A black man enters a bar... with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender, all surprised and shocked, said; - That's cool! Where did you get that? - In Africa, replied the parrot."

"Why do fish always have c-sections? Because they can't have land sections"

"I went to the library today and asked for a book on manners. The librarian replied, ""We haven't got any, so fcuk off."""