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Joke of the Day

"Why should you always knock before opening the refrigerator? Because there might be an Italian dressing."

"Being successful is like getting pregnant.. ..Everyone will come to congratulate you but no one dares to ask how hard and how many times you were fucked."

"My mom told me that I objectify women. When she asked me why I broke up with my last girlfriend I said ""it didn't work out."" She said ""be more specific."" I said ""I just told you she didn't exercise."""

"Women are good for 70 things Cooking and 69"

"How do you make the hippie run out of money? You hide daddies credit card under a bar of soap."

"Where do religious cattle go to eat? Out to pastor."

"Who steals all the soap in the bathroom? The robber ducky"

"How do you call a blond who changed her hair color to brown? Artificial Intelligence!"

"Whenever a long lost friend calls me, I get suspicious & wonder if he's calling me to sell Amway products.."

"Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom? ""They'll never see you coming."""