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Joke of the Day

"Ordered a honey bee kit off Amazon. Can't wait to tell my co-workers all the benefits of honey that I Googled right before telling them."

Next Joke
 
"I'll never forget my uncles last words to me... ""Dont shake the ladder you little shit"""
"A (Non-Racist) Chinese Joke A Chinese man and a Chinese woman get married. They have a baby boy. What color is the sun?   Yellow."
"What do call a girl that eats pastries while browsing the internet? Eclair."
"I have only two requests for when I die. #1. I want my remains scattered around Wrigley Field. \#2. I don't want to be cremated first."
"My wife said to go out and buy something that makes her look hot & sexy for Valentine's Day! So I got drunk..."
"How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? Fuck that. It's the nurse's job."
"My friend just told me a deep, dark secret... When he was younger, his father used to verbally abuse him, then proceed to lock him in the freezer. Jeez, that's cold."
"We need to protect this country! The U.S. needs to stop these Chinese terrorists from crossing the border and spreading Ebola!"
"Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator? It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels."