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Joke of the Day

"My wife said to go out and buy something that makes her look hot & sexy for Valentine's Day! So I got drunk..."

"What type of music do people listen to in the grasslands? [Shrub-steppe.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrub-steppe)"

"Scientists finally discovered how an elephant trumpets. Maybe now they can get back to curing cancer..."

"When I win the lottery I'm getting a pool boy, maybe I'll even get a pool."

"I was going to break up a fight between two Rabbis... But they were just arguing semitics."

"When I was growing up, we were so poor that... Soap-on-a-rope was considered to be jewelry in our house."

"What did the guy say when he finally earned the top spot on the High Scores list at the Masturbate Arcade? ""I BEAT IT!!!"""

"Things you need to know about me: 1- I'm lazy 2- hmm, one is enough"

"I have a step ladder. I just wish I knew who my real ladder was."

"A man walks into a bar.... ...and spectacularly fails at Limbo."