191703

Joke of the Day

"My friend just told me a deep, dark secret... When he was younger, his father used to verbally abuse him, then proceed to lock him in the freezer. Jeez, that's cold."

"What is a mixture of Hulk and Captain America called? Star-Spangled Banner."

"It's hard to tell a joke to a kleptomaniac... because they're always taking things literally."

"Everyone always pets my pregnant wife's stomach and says 'congratulations' but no one ever rubs my balls and says 'good job'."

"I heard this joke about a guy who gave oral sex to his sister's daughter. It was a real niece lapper."

"Last week a 13-year-old girl became the youngest female to climb Mount Everest. She didn't mean to. She was just texting her friend and the next thing she knew she was on top of Mount Everest."

"Why did the chicken cross OP's mother? ."

"My guidelines for whether or not to have sex with a female were the same as how I chose outdoor sports. If there was grass on the field, I played ball."

"Do you like discounts? Don't worry at my house, my pants are 100% off"

"If u wear headphones Upside down...... will the sound be upside down too? HA!"