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Joke of the Day

"Why Pyongyang the capital of North Korea? It is the same noise the elastic bands that launch their nuclear missiles make"

"As the pair of scissors steps up to the starting line, the other runners quickly realize that this race just got a whole lot more dangerous."

"How do chinese people name their childre n? They throw a toaster down the stairs. *I realize this is old but I don't know how many people have heard it, so just spreading the joke*"

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee... Free"

"Why are giraffes so tall? Because cheetahs are faster."

"Just heard this oldie, but goodie from a friend Two does are walking out of a bar after a long night of drinking, and one turns to the other and says, ""I can't believe I just blew 30 bucks."""

"How many cops shootings does it take to have an indictment? Error [value unknown]"

"Contrary to popular belief, the most common use for electrical tape is to cover up goth nipples."

"I don't believe Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back. He wouldn't get any balance laying on his shell."

"[job interview] ""So we'll call you & let you know. Do you have any questions?"" Yes, can you text me instead to let me know?"