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Joke of the Day

"I don't believe Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back. He wouldn't get any balance laying on his shell."

"What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car? They pilaf. I'll show my way out"

"The moment you realise... The new COD has space battles and Star Wars battlefront doesn't."

"What kind of water do ducks drink? Bottled Waddle."

"Portland is on fire and the nearest Trump voter is 300 miles away. Democrats have a terrible ground game."

"Bar Joke A zionist, a mass murderer and a jew come into a bar, the israelite orders a drink"

"Greeks lined up for ATM? Isn't that kinda their thing?"

"Why did Hannibal Lecter try DiGiorno's Pizza? He heard it had de*liver*y flavor."

"A Blind Man Walks Into A Bar Then Into a Table, Then Into A Bar Stool......."

"My wife Googled ""how responsible does a 10yr old need to be to stay at home without a babysitter"" and now she won't let me stay home alone."