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Joke of the Day

"You know what they say about men that have big feet? #They wear big shoes! *Come on guys, this is /r/cleanjokes! Get your minds out of the gutter!*"

"I promise, I'm only gonna have 2 beers tonight.... 2 beers in dog beers"

"Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork. Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!"

"What's your best limerick? There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini"

"Kim Jong Un has upgraded himself from ""Leader of North Korea"" to ""Supreme Leader of North Korea"" by adding sour cream and extra cheese."

"What was the only thing missing from phil hughes' last innings???? -a duck"

"What's the difference between LSD and my dad? LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me."

"How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven."

"What do you call an Italian hooker? A pastatute"

"What is the most uptight human instinct? Sex, there's hundreds of thousands of sex offenders."