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Joke of the Day
"I promise, I'm only gonna have 2 beers tonight.... 2 beers in dog beers"
Next Joke
 
"ME: look a possum HER: actually it's spelled opossum ME: you don't no how I spelled it, we're talking HER: actually it's spelled know"
"What's the best name for a cigarette company? TOBA Co"
"Cop: Know why I stopped you? Me: Cuz you SMELLED THIS DONUT? *tosses donut out window* Cop: ... Me: Aren't you gonna go get- Cop: Get out."
"What is the Mexicans favorite credit card company? Capital Juan"
"I'm an expert at dating After all, I work in the calendar factory 12 hours a day"
"Text response from a confused carcass: I decay."
"Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can't use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing."
"Why did Jesus have a six pack? It was from all the cross-training..."
"Do you know why android fanboys don't like apple products?"